I just need to get this out

I'm sick and tired of everything going on right now.

(prepare yourselves for an annoying rant about my life. you at least got a warning)

Why the hell am I getting so sick? Is it because of stress? Was I just caught with food poisoning at first? All I can feel is this annoying pain in my stomach all the time now. When I woke up this morning, I was spitting BROWN. When I go to the bathroom, it's fucking so close to black I have to stick my damn face in it to differentiate any other color. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I have such a bad panic/anxiety/depression attack the other night? I felt as if, and this is the best way I can describe it, my nerves were disconnected within my body, thus leaving me unable to move/touch/see/emote. On Sunday I worked 11-3 (the night before sleeping 5 hours), slept for an hour and a half, then worked a rough shift of 6-11:30, THEN AFTER NO SLEEP, worked a truck-unloading shift at my other job 5-12:30, and then went home to puke (since at 5am I drank a Monster energy drink on an empty stomach, fearing I would crash). I laid in bed trying to sleep, BUT I COULDN'T. At this point, I'm fatigued, and feel completely numb. To top it off, I got called in to work a 6-8 shift, and after THAT I was to play in my co-ed volleyball team for the first night. I remember making my way downstairs, but I don't remember having the vision-capabilities of getting downstairs, and then I suddenly felt a swelling pain on my hand, and then I began to cry uncontrollable for 10 minutes. It was at this point that my dad was freaking out, and he had to call off work FOR me since I was unable to mutter a 4-word sentence. Was it because I was so physically and mentally exhausted, that all my defenses towards the stress I have in my life was lowered and came crumbling down?

My dad was assaulted and abducted when he was at a damn PSYCHIATRIST VISIT. My mother is selling her home, that I grew up in, and that leaves a fear of me never being able to contact her again. We're loosing our house in Valparaiso, thus forcing our family to separate just to fucking survive. I'm working two retail jobs, which ALMOST was left to one, since my stupid fucking store manager has been harassing me and left a reference towards the second job in shreds. I'm lonely as hell. I feel like all my friends are succeeding in life and working towards their careers, while I'm left to suffer in retail hell. I can barely pay my bills with the two jobs that I have, thus putting more strain with my dad's finances, along with my own. I can't even FUCKING sleep because my mind is going a million miles a second, and just wont shut off.

What am I suppose to do? I can't keep going on like this, it's killing me. I haven't been this upset since my parents went through their divorce. EVEN with my December 07 horror story of both my sister and my father being in 2 separate car accidents, on top of graduating college, what I'm going through right now feels 10x worse. I feel like going to therapy wouldn't do me any good, since I've done that before.

I'm completely lost.